vision: Two Wives

Last night I had a dreamed in which I was wandering around in pity for myself [and justly so] because I got remarried. It appeared that Naomi had died and I ended up marrying one of my old high school girlfriends, Becky. It was a marriage on convenience though; I didn't want to be lonely. I had a deep emotional connection in the dream with missing Naomi and even woke up and told her not to ever leave me. Sometimes I need to be reminded how much I really love her... and how cruel to have a marriage based off of loneliness and have a soul still bleeding for your true love while joined to a statue.

As morning came I started to think if I could have "handled" [what a stupid word] my mom's death as "well" as I did if it wasn't for having Naomi... or more specifically for this thought pattern, a wife. If my mom would have died without me being married I don't know how my heart would have reacted to not have a female who knew me and loved me. No doubt that there are a few ladies who love me and that I love, my sister for instance, but it's just not the same as a wife or a mother... even those two are so different.

Upon writing this, I wonder if the reason that Becky was in the dream was because her father died in a car accident sometime recently as well? I assume that the same is to be said for a void of father/husband love.